QUESTION With peace, I am seeking your advice. I have a situation here that I can’t resolve without a wise help. My closest family – my son and daughter-in-law – are in constant anger. My grandchildren are growing up in this atmosphere. I am 400 kilometers away from them, so, there is no actual way to get in touch with them that often. And this might be a tragedy for my grandchildren. A fatal question: ‘What should I do?’ How can I reduce a bad parents’ influence on the children? I grew up in violence and indifference. It must have somehow passed on to my son – but it was too late when I had realized this.

ANSWER OF TAYANA There should be a dedicated time and place for every event. The main thing is to get the right orientation in space. You are far away from your family, and this might be a block for your influence on them. You are mentioning that you have learned your lessons from the past, and you now have some life experience. So, this is your experiencing of life at its different levels. The past has taught you to differentiate the good from the evil. There were some certain factors for this. 

Your children and grandchildren have their life’s purpose. And their lives flow according to the laws of Being, but not to the personal preferences. The way they accept this depends on their own will and reasonable thinking. 

In the first place, we give our children a chance of physical birth, some temporary protection and support. And their life is given to them by the Existence, it does not belong to us, their parents. It is an independent part of Being, their story that consists of every move, action, thought. The people our children and their kids will grow up into – everything depends on the degree of our interference. Sometimes we cannot change what already happened, we cannot stop the sequence of events. 

If you know how you could help your children (and if they are asking for your help), then help them. If you can’t – please do not interfere. It is possible that your children do not need your help however sad it might sound for you. But you can help those who are near you. You opened your eyes not that long ago, and you do not know the world enough. And all the hardships we encounter are our best opportunities. 

Don’t profane yourself with negative thoughts about your family. How does your disapproval help? Any interference causes unpredictable consequences. It is good that you have got a better understanding, even if it happened too late – as you think. They will understand, too. But they have their own story. And the main thing is not to make things worse. Elderly people bear a certain danger: they are thinking a lot, but there is little they can do. They sometimes think that other people have no idea how to live, that they pay little attention to others, etc. This all can be called judgment and delusion. Delusions are destructive. A wrong judgment can kill a person, destroy their family, or cause illness. 

You are grieving. The Lady is grieving, but she loves. Our fate is to pray in love for God’s children, for human children, for their souls, for their reasonable thinking. We cannot know their past, their current suffering reasons, and there is no need to interfere with their future. There are only Love and Care that are not afraid of distances and are irrelative of them. God is unlimited. But we can bear Him in ourselves. Our love is His life. And He does not deprive anyone of His grace.

08 March 2005, Просмотров: 62