Brokenned heart

QUESTION My heart is aching. My soul it torn into pieces. As before, my sense demands what it wants. And I understand that my madness is simply drowning me. But it is what I am and I cannot do anything about it. And I am living with it. It has been worrying me of late. But when I met her, both my heart and soul seemed to revolt against my sense. I understand that she is not such a girl as she seems, but my heart demands so that I should be with her and my soul agrees with it. But to do it I must change and I cannot do it. Tell me, please, what can I do in this situation?
ANSWER OF TAYANA Soul, sense: you use such important categories for a more figurative description of your self-admiration. And I appeal to understand the essence of love.

Your soul is keeping silent for a while. It is sleeping, and as a result, there is a lack of sense. 

Your heart is only a physical organ in your body. Poetical images are all right, but in this case there is no connection between them and your reality. 

Your soul is your individuality, you have come here with it, it is your integral part and base. It is what is indisputable by nothing and nobody. But your mind is constantly in chaotic movement. It nourishes your selfishness. But this duet is not the sense you are talking about. Sense is an alliance of soul and mind, where soul is a master, and mind is a servant.

You cannot change your soul. Now your aspiration for perfection is talking in you. You have met a wonderful woman. And what is then? A dead end.

Learn to love yourself. Then pity for yourself will dissolve and so will jealousy of the other for she is superior to you in something. Your will must help you.

You beloved is one of the reflexions of your inner, obscure side.

Two old friends met. They hadn’t met long and were already at a very old age. One complained.
– I devoted all my life to the search of ideal woman.
– Have you found her?
– Yes, I have.
– Then what’s the matter? Why are you so sad?
– She sought an ideal man.

When a man permit people to talk about him negatively, the shadow of Death begins to poison him step by step and to follow him. But really happy people try to avoid them because they have already learnt the joy of their own existence, they know the charm and value of their lives.

It is your choice. You are able to create both Heaven and hell for the other. Are you ready to share it with him?

Life is a feast that shares your existence. You are a part of it. Do you want to choose only the negative part of the whole dooming yourself to inferiority complex?

Rare sensibility is inherent to you. Developing it, you will be able to understand the nature of love and creative work, your belonging to it, your relationship with them. Then it will be unimportant who is with you.